So I sit here feeling like a rotten mother!
I can make excuses.
But in the end I feel rotten.
I have spent the last week in and out of the Hospital with Ben
Feeling stressed, worried and a little tired.
He is especially bad at night.
He spikes a high fever, his heart rate soars to the 130-150's
and his pain skyrockets.
All of this from an unknown cause.
And all of this causes me worry and stress.
Tonight when I got home at 10:00 p.m.
I had a bone to pick with Bailee about grades.
Not even a super big deal. Just an irritation I had.
Could have been a simple discussion.
I then got all irritated thinking she was throwing attitude,
when in reality she probably wasn't.
I was just tired and at my maximum overload.
Sadly she got the brunt of my distress in the form of Anger.
Sometimes I feel like sorry is just not enough.
Will they think back on their teen years and only remember the moments when the parents were angry?
I hope not.
She is such a great girl and I am lucky to have her.
She is helpful and reliable.
I love being her mom and her friend.
I guess I don't tell her often enough how proud I am of her,
how thankful I am for her,
how talented she is,
and most of all that I love her.
Maybe she will read this and understand.
I guess no one said parenting would be easy.
It's so True!!
5 comments:
parenting is NOT easy! But the good thing is your kids do know you love them and one day she'll say "how did mom ever do this!" Ben ( and your family) are in our prayers.
You are so great at being there for your kids. We all have our rough moments, but I'm sure that Bailee will look back and remember that the love and support you gave her far outweigh the disappointments. You're an amazing mom and person Hang in there.
Parenting is definitely a challenge. I think (or at least I hope) that our kids understand when we are having a bad day. I ask my kids once in a while things they remember and it is usually the good stuff so I hope that is what they remember when they get older too.
One day when she is a Mom, she will do the same thing and remember what a wonderful mother you are!
That makes me cry a little. I think of all the times I made my parents mad and made my mom cry, and now when I think back on my childhood, I only remember the good things. Those moments of tears and anger seem like someone else. Hopefully she'll feel the same way, which I'm sure she will because you're a much more positive person than negative.
It's true that one day she'll be a mother and realize just how tough it can be.
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