I know it seems like I blog about the health of my son a lot.
It's true.
But this blog is really a journal of sorts for me.
SO I blog about what I'm thinking etc.
Yesterday we had a small issue with Benjamin.
He woke up with sharp lower abdominal pain. (scale 7)
Now....It is flu season.
So, I think, could be the flu?
With 500 mg Tylenol the pain goes away in about 2hours.
Off to school he goes.
He feels fine all day. Has a healthy appetite.
I think...no worries. Just a glitch.
Then off to CAP for the first time in 6 months.
He is so excited.
Lincoln goes with him as he is a senior member. (support)
When he comes home he is nausea's. (scale 5 1/2)
Everything is based on a scale at our house.
He goes to sleep with nausea.
Wakes up fine.
I spend all night worrying.
I plead with my Heavenly Father.
Please don't let this be the start of a problem.
Please let it be a small thing.
He is feeling soooo good.
Gaining weight.
Eating.
Happy!!
After so long.
I question myself.
Do I lack faith?
Because when he has a slight problem I start to question?
He has been promised eventual recovery multiple times.
I start to question the promises.
Then I remind myself of the blessings and promises.
Be patient! He is doing so good.
Don't borrow trouble.
IT IS SO HARD NOT TO!!
How do I determine what is worry
and
what is lack of faith?
Worry is normal.
But my dumb mind starts to run away from me.
Why does life have to be so difficult,
and so wonderful at the same time?
6 comments:
Heather,
You are awesome. Thank you so much for your words. Sometimes you just need a little reminder.
I would love to come over and help you TRY to figure out digital scrapbooking. I can at least show you my way. :)
woops. I deleted it. umm, here it is again.
I have finally come to the conclusion that the only purpose of worry is to help us find a way to fix a problem. Then if we can’t fix the problem than we have to let it go; that is where faith steps in. I try to take the approach that if I can do something about it I will and if I can’t, I have to hand it over to Heavenly Father knowing that His way isn’t always what I might want or hope.
In a nutshell (which is where I should have started), it doesn't matter if it's "just worry" or lack of faith. It's not worth beating yourself up over. And I would imagine Heavenly Father wants you to enjoy having Ben home, whether that ends up being a short or long time, so let the worry go. I know, not a lot of help,especially coming from someone on “the outside.” But if you need something to take your mind off the worry, come help me fugure out my house or digital scrapbooking.
Troy had to teach an Elders Quorum lesson and the article was "Hold on a little longer." That has been our saying now, Hold on a little longer. It's hard but you can do it!
You have every right to worry! He is your son! I ask Aaron about him every day, just to "make sure" he is doing okay! I can't imagine what you have gone through and so of course every tinge of pain or nausea or whatever would send me into hysterics so I totally admire your faith!
I could not have put it better than how Heather said it....so ditto.
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