"Come Come Ye Saints"

Benjamin had the wonderful opportunity

this past week to participate in Pioneer Trek.

He LOVED it!!

We worried about his stamina etc.

But he did just fine.

I think this is such a wonderful chance our youth have

to get just a taste of the sacrifice the early saints

made just for the chance to live the gospel

and come to Zion.

Here is the first picture I took as we finally spotted them after they had rounded the bend and came into view.

 Ben and his family pulling their handcart

 Still smiling after 8 miles today and a river crossing.

 The pioneer look suits him.

 One of his "sisters"...who I am sure he will be getting her number.

 His Trek parents the Vandenbergs

 When we got home we took a picture of his feet.

After the river crossing they were so muddy

he said it looked like he had black boots on.

He said they washed in buckets when they were done.

But when we got home and he took of his shoes and socks

this is what we saw...

 One of the days they participated in a lot of activities.

One of them they were able to make these rings.

Ben said it was an experience of a lifetime

that he will never forget.

He loved so much of it.

The Women's Pull was the hardest.  Watching the women in his family

struggle and fight to get that handcart up a very steep hill

with rocks and ruts.

He said it was hard not being able to help them at all.

They weren't even allowed to talk or offer encouragement.

Ben said all he and the other men did was watch...

with tears running down their faces.

They also had a river crossing on the last day.

The young men in each family carried the women across

and pulled the handcarts across.

He said it was muddy and very difficult to get those carts across the river.

Before they began, they had a speaker

talk about the trial that faced the handcart companies

every time they had a river crossing

and how later in the year many died after a crossing due to cold.

This made the experience even more powerful.

It's great to hear and see the stories that built

his faith and testimony even more.

I am so grateful he was able to go.

"Big Stud"

Happy 17th Birthday Benjamin

"Big Stud"

Benjamin is growing up.

Literally.

This brings us much much joy.

He is now officially as tall as me.

I am glad to say in the next few months

he is bound to pass me right up.

He is a fun young man to have around

sweet to his sisters

kind to others

works hard

funny

and handsome too.

We are blessed to have him in our family.

Here are a few pictures of the last few months....

Hiking at Lisa Falls

Ben in full fantasy make-up
Shooting his with his buddies

A few of his good friends.

It seems absolutely crazy...

crazy...

that two years from now

he will be leaving to serve a full time mission.

~heavy sigh~

A moment we look forward to

and dread.

He has grown up so fast.

Sometimes I wish time could slow down

or even stand still

just for a moment.

Have a great birthday Benjamin.

I love you!

"Big Day for Ben"

So yesterday....
Sunday, April 11th, 2010
was a BIG day for Ben.

He successfully blessed the sacrament for his very first time.
It almost brought a tear to my eye.
In our ward the dad and the priest do the blessings on their first time.
Ben went first and blessed the bread.
Lincoln second and blessed the water.
I loved watching my guys honor their priesthood.

Benjamin just knelt right down and went for it.
I noticed a little tremor at first,
it quickly vanished.
Bailee gave him a discreet thumbs up after..
He gave her the discreet eyebrow raise, and smile.

This has been months in the waiting.
He turned 16 on February 9th.
But, because he wanted to bless the first time with dad...
and Dad has been working or out of town,
plus Stake Conference...
This was the first Sunday they were both present.
Mission accomplished.

The ward is grateful too....
we are lacking in priests,
and each week when they have been scrambling for a priest..
there sat Ben in our pew.
NOT ANYMORE!! ;)

Bailee really liked the way her dad blessed the water.
She said she'd never heard him do that before...
She felt like he said each word
and phrase with feeling and meaning.
Funny the things you take for granted.
Like the words of the sacrament prayers...
Or the meaning...
The purpose we partake each week.

I for one am grateful for this ordinance..
It's meaning and purpose for me.
For the opportunity to renew my covenants each Sunday.

Wild Blue Yonder

My husband being the goal oriented person he is...

Has a bucket list.

This list, he has had since he was 17 or 18

he just called it his list of things to do.

Of course it has been added to and tweaked.

One of the many things on this list since the beginning...

Go for a Ride in a World War II

B-17 Bomber.

There are only 7-8 left in the world that actually fly.

Saturday went something like this....

He wakes me at 7:30 a.m.

Lincoln:

"How about a change in plans for the day?"

"I read in the paper that you can buy a ride

in a B-17 Bomber in Heber City today."

"It's on my list."

Nikki:

"How much?"

Lincoln:

"He tells me an amount I will not disclose..."

Nikki:

"Whew, it's not cheap...But it is a lifelong dream."

"We have the money..."

"Okay."

Lincoln:

"I want Ben to go too."

Nikki:

"That's twice the not cheap amount."

-pause-

Lincoln:

"It would mean so much more to share it with my son"

Nikki:

he had me

"Okay"

So off to Heber City we went.

Lincoln, Ben and I.

It was an experience of a lifetime.

In Ben's words it was "Freaking Amazing."

Fulfilling a dream, if possible,

is something you just can't pass up.

Lincoln and Ben beside the B-17, Pre-Flight

View out the side mid flight.

Ben taking a picture out the Gunner Window.
Look at that smile. :)

Lincoln and Ben sitting in the Nose
The view, priceless...
The Smile on the Husbands Face,
Priceless too.

It was the neatest thing...

Watching my guys accomplish one of my husbands

lifelong dreams....

TOGETHER!!

Below a quick video taken when you stick your head out the top.

No glass just you and the Wild Blue Yonder.

Benjamin took this particular short clip.

P.S. Again I hate the formatting of blogger.

This post was created with spaces between each

conversation line etc.

Alas it publishes as one jumbeled mess. :(

Still Smiling!!

It seems not matter what life throws at him...
He just keeps smiling.

Benjamin has such a great attitude.
That's why the nurses and doctors LOVE him
Because he is just a nice kid.

Everyday someone new tells me what a nice kid he is.
One nurse yesterday told me it must be great parenting.
HA HA HA!!

He was born SWEET and NICE!!
Since he was a baby he has been great.

Things continue to progress positively.
The hope and prayer is that we can get him home,
keep him home and healthy.

He is eating again. And very thankful.
After a day of 500 cc of clear liquids every 12 hours,
they have increased him to a soft diet.

Tomorrow they will do an x-ray with contrast....
and if all looks good...
Maybe home!

Back at it!

Ben is back in the hospital.

Heavy SIGH!!

We could really use all your prayers.
They need to avoid surgery if at all possible.
It has been too soon and it would not be an easy
thing for the surgeons or Bens body at this point.

Things are improving today. Thank goodness.
We do feel the love and support of all our family and friends.
Thanks also to the visitors. :)

Hopefully if things continue on this track we can have him
home on Wednesday or Thursday.

A happy healthy Benjamin will make a
happy Paxman family. :)

Home Health

Nurse Nikki I am not!
I really don't want to become one either.
But it looks like I might have to.

The surgeon has declared that Ben will come home this weekend....
regardless.
If his output finally slows enough to pull the tube, he will eat and then come home.
If not, he will come home anyway. Tube, PICC, suction and all.
Still not being able to have any food or liquid by mouth.
Home health will deliver his TPN (food iv) each day.
I will be in charge of taking care of his PICC etc.
This scares me a little, I'm not ganna lie.

They are very confident his intestines will recover and work fully.
It just might take some time.
They don't want to rush the process, so will send him home to continue
waiting for a few weeks if necessary.

We really don't want to bring him home all hooked up.
It will be soooo hard for him, not eating, when we all are.
As it is we don't eat in front of him or talk about eating, unless he brings it up.
So we are really praying for a major change here in the next two days.

On the up side, we will love having him home again. :)

Racing for Kids

Yesterday Benjamin and I had a fun surprise.
A bunch of Formula race car drivers who are here in Utah for a big race tomorrow at the Larry Miller speedway came to the hospital to visit kids.
So we wandered to the third floor lobby and Benjamin got to visit with the racers.
They were really cool. Talked about how they got into racing etc.
They all signed a hat, and various pictures and gave it to him.
Channel 4 ABC news was there too taking footage.
They interviewed Benjamin personally. ;)
He thought this was awesome.
I haven't had a chance to see if he made the news....
I did have Bailee DVR it. We will see, maybe he had 5 minutes of fame
straight from Primary Children's.
He also got a visit from a friend of his dads who flies on Air Med.
They gave him a hat and t-shirt. Being that he collects baseball hats, he is very happy about the two additions.

Originally we were hoping to be home in a two week time period.
Not going to happen. That would be today.
Still too much out put.
Who knew the body produced so much....Gunk.
Maybe sometime next week.
Yes, I really am tired.
All the back and forth etc.

Thanks to all who are helping me. You know who you are....
People transporting Brooklyn, people keeping Brooklyn for an hour or so after school.
Those who have brought meals.
Whoever is being a long term sub for me at work.
All the great nurses and volunteers at PCMC, especially the Math tutor. :)
And especially all those who have visited in the hospital.
It really brightens Ben's day and breaks up the monotony.

Idol

I have found myself addicted to American Idol.
I have often wondered about the stupid craziness all these years, never having watched.
Then this year I randomly watch one episode a few months ago and BAM...
Hooked.
I really like it.
Simon of course is my favorite. He is after all the Voice of Reason.
And to be honest he usually calls it right on.
Man can these three men still competing sing.
Adam I'm afraid sings the best.
Not really my type of music, but the best voice in my opinion.
Not a favored opinion I am finding out.
We will see....

Things with Ben remain about the same.
Still to much output from his NG tube to consider pulling it.
Until this happens NO FOOD or WATER by mouth.
His intestines are still sleeping.
Soon they will wake and things will progress faster.
Patience and prayers.
That's what we tell ourselves.
Meanwhile he is having a miserable bout of allergies.
Sneezing and an 8-10 inch incision don't mix.
I continue with my daily dose of Primary Childrens.
7:00 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. :)

Ups & Downs

Sorry that all my posts are hospital based...
This blog is a sort of journal and so I write about what is going on for me.

And for me right now, Ben being in the hospital is pretty consuming.
He has up days and down days.
I guess this is normal.

Saturday was a bad day.
He was very nauseous and in a lot of pain.
And the output in his NG tube was excessive.
This was out of the norm, because he had been feeling so good.

Sunday was a good day.
Ben got to have limited ice chips. :)
Lincoln had to work so I took the girls to the hospital with me.
They spent a good part of the day with Ben and I.
The girls and I also got to see a special showing of the Hannah Montana Movie,
right there in an auditorium in the hospital.
Apparently, Disney gives them quite a few movies a year to show
while there still playing in theatres. This is a great thing.

Ben opted out. He decided to take a nap.
He did say if Miley Cyrus had been in the lobby promoting...
well then he would have gone.
Hospital gown, tubes and all.

Tomorrow is another day....
Hopefully a good one.

42.5 Kilos

Ben's weight today. That's 93.5 pounds.
2.2 pounds per kilo. I know, not much for a 15 year old boy.
Now that they have started feeding him nutrients by his PICC
he has to be weighed every day.
Yesterday he weighed in at a 43.9 kilos.
I swear he peed out all that weight. lol.
The powers that be, want to make sure he isn't getting to thin.
Although, I don't know what they would do about it.
He can't have ANYTHING by mouth.
He can't even brush his teeth.
"He might suck water out of the toothbrush" they say. :)
I know I would if I were him.

Things are progressing.
Each day he feels a little better.
Still not looking like he'll be home any time soon.
Maybe....Next Friday. If were very lucky.
No 4-wheeling again for most of this summer.
This is a real downer to him
and the fact he will miss 9th grade Lagoon Day.
I totally agreed with him, that does indeed suck.

Thanks for the visitors.
He really appreciates the break in a monotonous day.
And the chocolate donuts are my break in the day.

PICC Line

So every once in awhile...
I have a spare moment.
Luckily for me they have Internet here at the hospital.
So today while Ben gets a PICC line...
I decided to check the blog and post.

I had to leave the room.
Blood and all.
Plus they do this procedure in a very sterile environment.
Me, not dressed all sterile.

He has to have this line because in a delirious state on Saturday night,
he pulled his feeding tube.
This had to have been a feat. The tube was at least two feet long.
Completely out. Laying on the bed.
Hmmmm. He can't even remember.
And the Dad slept through it to.
So they are giving him a central line to feed him.

He says T.V. sucks!!
To many commercials with food.
He probably wont get any food or water by mouth for at least another 5-7 days.
He believes he is starving and wasting away.

All else in life continues on as normal as possible.
Thank goodness for the teenager.

PCMC

Primary Children's Medical Center.
This really is a great place.
They have the most wonderful staff
and you know your getting great care if your there.

Which we are. :(
Benjamin went in for a rushed surgery on Friday.
It was definitely NOT planned.

It's going to be a long haul so if I am absent....
Well you know why.

My poor baby boy ;)
That is what he is...my baby boy...
even though he is 15.
He is not a happy camper.

"Permit" me..

We have a new driver!!

That's right Ben passed his written exam

yesterday March 9, 2009.

Exactly one month after his b-day.

He scored 84%, which he now lords over Bailee

who only scored 82%!! Bwahaahaa!

He is now an official PERMIT holder.

With what he calls a picture that makes him look..

HIGH!

This is the car he will drive. NOT!!

In his dreams. This is the car he wishes was his.

If he is lucky he will drive the car you see the rear of.

LOL!!

Today he drove for the first time.

Home from work, which is Riverton Elementary.

A bit heavy on the gas, and a bit heavy on the brake.

Only the first time he accelerated and braked.

Then he did awesome.

He is a natural.

Well....

After the seat is put as far forward as it goes.

The steering wheel lowered,

to allow him to see over the dash.

He will grow, we have faith. ;)

These dress blue pants which are 1 year old...

Are now floods.

Growth, in evidence.

Bring on the inches.

My how fast they grow.